Willy Wanksta and the Doorag Factory
by Lavender Mansworth
Summary: This is what happens at 2 am when me and Beq are hyper. Willy Wonka parody, that was actually supposed to be continued but we got thrown off our groove. Enjoy what one chapter of it there is...


Willie Wanksta and the Doorag Factory 

**Full cast list:**

Willie Wonka: Willie Wanksta

Charlie: C-Dawg

Grampa Joe: Uncle MoFo

Grandma Josephine: Mo Mo Fizzle

Violet Beauregarde: Violent Pistolwhipsmackdaddychick

Augustus Gloop: Dakota Glomp

Mike Teavee: Mike Teepee

Veruca Salt: Victoria Pepper

Oompa Loompas: Various hos

More to be added in later chapters, I'm sure… 

Welcome to Emili and Beq's lovely rendition of Willy Wonka! It was devised one night (I believe the night of the release of the 6th Harry Potter book, after HP day at Waldenbooks :D) and I find it quite lickable. Enjoy, and please review! (Ooh, and I forgot to mention that this was infact cowritten by both myself and the lovelyyyyyy Rosemary Parkinsons, aka Beq, as she shall be referred to, as her pen name is quite long and difficult to type on a regualar basis, lol.)

(C-Dawg is walking down the street dressed in full ghetto apparel, but minus the doorag)

(a group of gangstas pull up in a car and get out)

\

Gangsta 1: Hit me wit yo doorag, foo!

C-Dawg: Terribly sorry, chaps, but I'm afraid I am not currently in possession of a doorag at the moment.

Gangsta 2: Whatchoo talking bout bitch?

C-Dawg: Excuse me? I must say that I am quite taken aback by your demeaning, judgmental comments, sir!

Gangsta 3: Why you be trippin? Why you ain't got no doorag, foo?

C-Dawg: I…I'm afraid my family is just….too poor to afford one…

(C-Dawg hangs his head in shame)

Gansta 2: I say we pistolwhip this mothafucker and get out of here!

C-Dawg: Oh, bilge!

(pulls out pistol)

(pistolwhips gangstas)

Gangsta 1: GAH!

Gangsta 2: HAAAAAHHHHHHHG!

Gangsta 3: lies on the ground, unconscious, after being violently pistolwhipped

Narrator: What you have just witnessed may seem like a horrid, unjust cruelty, that would normally not occur in such a small suburban region as New York, but it is the daily life of the Dawg family. Everyone (including dear old Mo Mo Fizzle) is constantly being attacked by doorag-demanding gangstas! C-dawg's mother recently lost her job as a high-end prostitute, and now the family is very poor. They live in a ramshackle house that is very cold in winter, and very hot in summer, as it is made out of lead…(?) Let's take a look at life in the Dawg house.

(In the Dawg House)

Mrs. Dawg: Happy Birthday C-Dog! You're hottttttttttttttttt. Wait….that's S-dog…loooooooong story, I'll-tell-you-when-you're-older Bye!

Mo Mo Fizzle: So, C-Dawg, what sort of doorag do you think you'll buy this year? Word up to yo motha, ya hear?

C-Dawg: Well, despite the fact that she has indeed just left the room I shall pass on that message out of respect to my elders. To answer your question, dearest Mo Mo Fizzle, I do believe I shall purchase with my great windfall, a Willie Wanksta doorag. I hear he's holding a sort of competition!

Mo Mo Fizzle: Word?

C-Dawg: Er, yes…."word"…. I hope to find a golden cricket inside! I shall be sure to check, before placing upon my "cabeza" as they say in jolly old Spain/Mexico!

Mo Mo Fizzle: Word!

(Enter Uncle MoFo)

(exit Mrs. Dawg and Mo Mo Fizzle)

Uncle MoFo: You be shakin yo peppa in da hoooooood, C-Dawg?

C-Dawg: Indeed! I am off to purchase a doorag in hopes of striking it lucky with a golden cricket. Upon which, I shall win a fabulous trip to Willia Wanksta's Doorag Factory, and I shall receive a liftime supply of doorags, and none of us will ever get jumped by those hoodlums again!

Uncle MoFo: Fo sheazy!

C-Dawg: Right on, old bean! You know, Uncle MoFo, you're the only one who has ever understood me. People look at me and on the outside I seem just as "off the heazy" as some like to put it, as the rest of you, but on the inside, I know I'll never achieve the same level of ghetto fabulosity as you all!

Uncle MoFo: Don't be hatin or discriminatin! We be chillin in the da hooooooood with our homies, dawg!

C-Dawg: Yes, yes, I know, I know I shouldn't act so morose. I shall try to be cheerier for the family's sake.

Uncle MoFo: Bitch killa, bitch killa!

C-Dawg: I knew you'd understand Uncle MoFo! You know, if I were to win that golden cricket, I would take you with me to the doorag factory.

Uncle MoFo: Fo shizzle my nizzle!

C-Dawg: Uncle MoFo, do you know what you just said?

Uncle MoFo: Don't be hatin!

C-Dawg: Oh, jolly good, because nor do I! (chuckles) Well, I've enjoyed your insight, but I'm off to purchase my doorag! Pip pip!

A/N: Well, hopefully won't be their usual bastard selves and remove this for being in SCRIPT FORMAT gag choke die SCANDAL! Jesus Christ, they have some issues…ANYroad, please review and keep in mind that there is much more in store for C-Dawg and his familia! Ta and mucho loveness!


End file.
